Tonight I am going to try to pack… away my anxiety. No, I am not packing it along. I like to think of packing my anxiety as an expression of putting it to rest. Right now I feel a little anxious. I believe this to be normal for any big step in life. I’ve felt like this all last week, and now it has grown and is getting bigger. I am nervous, excited, sad, happy…basically I am in a frenzy of emotions. I like to think that the solution, or at least to ease the anxiety, would be to start to get a hold on all the things I still need to do or organize. I have been putting some of these things off. So tonight I am packing away my anxiety.
I’ll be packing all sorts of things from clothes to my camera, but the one thing I can’t forget to pack along is God’s peace. As I have been getting worked up for this summer, I have been praying a lot for a peaceful and calm mental state. So far I haven’t been granted this much desired peace in a larger sense. I’m starting to feel at peace with the small things and coming to term with the realization that I won’t be able to do the things I normally do in the summer, but the overall anxiety is still there. I’ve started to wonder if this anxiety is God’s plan to help me be more prepared and grow deeper and stronger in Him, but I may be completely wrong. For I do not know God’s plans for me right now. I living and surviving on faith. Faith that God will reveal to His plan for me this summer on His time. That may mean tomorrow or a year after I return from Ecuador.
Through all the anxiety and fears I may have, it is in Him I put my trust, in Him I give my everything, and in Him I live and breath and move.
Ecuador 2012 